LOVE AND ITS RESTRICTIONS

   Seriously, this love thing is tiring. Take it from a girl who has had two heartbreaks, and just summoned the courage to love again.

   Right from when i could understand what a relationship between the opposite sex is, i have been swamped with a lot of do's and don'ts. What a Lady should do and shouldn't do when dating. Why should I wait for him to call me first when its 4pm and i haven't heard from him all day and I am partly dying to hear his voice and partly worried, that something may have gone wrong? They say "that's the way its supposed to be, he is the guy and he should do the calling or most of it". Why can't i buy him a gift at random? They say "If you give him too much gifts, he will know you are into him". But isn't that the point?! To show that I'm into him. Then they say, "don't call him too much o, it will just look like you are begging for attention, don't go cooking for him o, tell him to take you out to an eatery, don't go all 'Miss Independent' on him, let him foot almost all your bills, don't show too much sign of affection, let it be that he is the lucky one to have landed you, you are doing him a favour being his girlfriend."
So much limitations, is love not supposed to come naturally? how can i say i love you and be contemplating whether to call you or not when i know i feel the need to talk to you and have to wait for you to call because "that's the way its supposed to be", why can't i love with the whole of my heart without expressing reservations? Why can't i love without thinking that i am breaking an unwritten girl code and loving too much? Why can't i just be free to love how i want?!

   Then there is this thing with guys, on a second thought, guys and girls alike, "I want someone that will love me for who i am, that will be a friend and a partner, someone who will be so in love with me that i will be the center of his/her universe" they say and there the person is in plain sight giving all the love He/She has to offer and they run away from it all because they think its too good to be true, the case of unrequited love being another story entirely.
I feel like i'm spinning off the topic here, forgive me, *sighs, i'm just, tired, worked up and angry. You know what? I'm still gonna love the way i know how to, giving my all, every inch of me, and i do hope to find someone who will love me as much as i do him before i get totally drained.